Monday, February 4, 2013

The UPS Man

My friend Suzette and I have this standing joke that one day we’re each going to get boffed by the UPS delivery man. The scenario: I am the only one in the office when the UPS guy comes for the 5:00 pm pick-up and we enjoy the pleasures of a zipless fuck. What started out as an outrageous implaus1bility soon turned into an active fantasy. This is going to sound completely unbelievable, but fantasy soon became reality.

It didn’t happen in the office, though; it happened at my apartment. I took a day off from work to catch up on some personal business, clean my house and just relax. I ran a bunch of errands in the morning and came back feeling a l1ttle exhausted so I laid down on my bed. My mind started to wander, letting all work-related stress escape out the window. I started to entertain a few sexual fantasies and reached into the nightstand drawer for my vibrator. With each erotic mindgame, I came really hard. I felt like I could ride my vibrator forever and it still wouldn’t be enough.

During what must have been my eighth orgasm, the doorbell rang. The doorbell is not a musical ding-dong chime, it’s an annoying buzzer louder than a bullhorn that could wake the dead and it really harshed my buzz. First I thought I wouldn’t answer it. But then it rang again. I peered out the window to see who it could be, and my heart nearly stopped when I saw the UPS delivery truck. Holy shit.

I grabbed my silk robe and pressed the button to let him in. I glanced in the mirror and saw that my hair was a total mess and my skin was covered in a pink sex flush. My hands were covered w1th the smell of my own pussy and I was sure he’d be able to smell it. I was petrified and excited and aroused. Could I really fuck the UPS guy? Or was it a bit of debauchery that was better left in the fantasy file? There was no time to rationally decide because he was on his way up the stairs to my second floor door.

I opened the door and a perfect example of classic Greek sculpture greeted me with a warm good morning and dropped a package on my living room floor. “There’s a few more in the truck,” he said politely. “I”ll be right back.” It turns out the packages were from my mother in Cleveland. She usually sends me things at the office and I couldn’t figure out why she sent them to my home. Then I nearly burst out laughing when I thought of all the times my mother has tried to fix me up with different guys. At last, she seemed to be having some success, although she would never know it.

Adonis came panting up the stairs with two heavy boxes. For a split second his eyes met mine and I knew I was going to be a bad girl. He set the boxes down and was fishing around in his pocket for a pen.

Looking up from his clipboard he said, “Okay, if you could just sign here please—“ he stopped in mid-sentence. I had let my robe fall open and presented my totally nude body for his viewing pleasure. (“I can’t believe you’re doing this, Sally! I can’t believe it!” said the little voice in my head. Then another voice said, “Go for it!” and I knew we were going to go all the way.) He stepped inside and shut the door without saying a word. I put my fingers inside my pussy and then pressed them against his lips, letting him smell and taste my girlflavor. He dropped his clipboard I took him by the hand and led him into the bedroom in silence. I laid back on the bed and spread my legs and he knew where to put his head. He gave me a long, luxurious tongue bath, darting his expert tongue in and out of my pussy and circling my clit. Being in such an aroused state, it didn’t take long for me to cum and he lapped up every drop of my juice that came oozing out with my orgasm. Then he kissed me and I could taste myself all over him. Moments later, he was gone. In the true spirit of friendship I’ve decided to send a few packages over to Suzette’s house. UPS, of course. —Sally V.

backpack-ginsu728x90